Ask the Avengers
by macy-terreth
Summary: So here you will find questions that YOU guys asked me! Submit more to see more, and all will be answered. The Avengers eagerly are up to the challenge! If you PM, you can be anonymous, but you can leave a review if you want. Rated T for some language. ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

**I think I might have forgotten to mention that if you private message me, you can be called anonymous. :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters.**

**JoMiSm, thank you for giving me something to do. I was really bored.**

* * *

JoMiSm: To Nat: Does it ever bother you that you can't have kids? Not to intrude. Please don't kill me!

Sometimes I wonder why I even agreed to this.

Such as now. Now is a good time to be wondering.

Anyway, regarding your question.

There are many times where I do regret that I can't start a family, but then there's the fact that protection is not needed.

*looks awkward and disturbed while Clint is flushed slightly red.*

And if it helps you sleep at night, I can't kill people through the internet.

Even if I got someone to hack into this website and find where the hell you are and then I show up at your house in one in the morning, I will not kill you.

Are we done here?

-Nat

Anonymous: has tony even watched the hunger games? has clint?

No. Do not. Do not even mention the words "Hunger" or "Games" around Clint. He will fucking flip out.  
And don't get me started on the name Rue.

He starts sobbing and crying and screaming, and then holds his hand up with three fingers like some weird ass peace sign or like he's some girl scout and keeps crying, holding onto Natasha most of the time, I might add, and yells,

"WHY?! RUE!"

And then he keeps crying.

So in short, yes, we have watched the Hunger Games. Now stop talking about it.

-Tony

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**Hope you guys liked it! Feel free to submit more! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

JoMiSm: To Tony: Have you watched that Sherlock Holmes movie thing? And if yes, have you ever noticed that Sherlock looks pretty much exactly like you and Jarvis' voice sounds just like Watson?

To Thor: Have you ever tried cookies? If the answer is No, go bug pepper until she makes you some. Or Tony. I hear he can make cookies too.

(Have fun with that, Tony. ;P)

Sherlock Holmes, yes. Although I find that Sherlock is not as nearly as devilishly handsome as I am.

Hang on, JARVIS sounds like Watson? I think you mean Watson sounds like JARVIS. Or is it just because they both have a British accent? Okay fine, they do kind of sound like one another...

xx

-Tony

COOKIES? INDEED, MY MIDGARDIAN FRIEND. I DID NOT ENJOY THEM SO MUCH, AS THEY LACKED MUCH TASTE, AND TASTED AS THE MIDGARDIAN OBJECT, IN WHICH THE PATRIOTIC ONE HAS EXPLAINED TO ME IS NOT A FOOD, CARDBOARD.

HOWEVER, I WAS NOT AWARE THAT THE ONE NAMED PEPPER MADE SUCH THINGS. I SHALL SEE TO IT THAT I ASK HER AND PERHAPS I WILL ASK HER TO MAKE SOME FOR ME.

THE MAN OF IRON CREATES SUCH OBJECTS AS WELL? I SHALL ASK HIM AS WELL, FOR I WISH TO SEE HIM CREATE WHAT YOU CALL COOKIES AND IN WHICH MIDGARDIANS CARRY MUCH DELIGHT IN CONSUMING.

HOPING YOUR LIFE IS FREE OF CARDBOARD COOKIES,

-THOR

What the hell is wrong with you.

I will find you.

And I will kill you.

-Tony


	3. Chapter 3

**ALERT! MY AVENGER LOVERS AND READERS, A GROUP CALLED REPORTABLE OFFENSE HAS PUT ME IN AND ARE GOING TO POST HATEFUL REVIEWS. :(**

**IF YOU WANT THIS Q&A TO STAY, PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS TO SHOW YOU CARE AND FIND THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO POST MEAN AND HATEFUL COMMENTS**

Mr. Perfectionist

catspats31

explodinghead

**THESE ARE THE MEAN PEOPLE, I WANT TO WARN MY READERS! PLEASE BEWARE OF THEM! **

* * *

**JoMiSm (THANK YOU :D): To Tony: Good luck with that. My dad is a pro arm wrestler with a gun cabinet right behind the door. You, minus suit, plus my dad, equals no chance of harming me. ;P**

**To Nat: *sigh* I'm a fan, sorry. Okay, who do you like better: Fury or Hill? Hill or Coulson? (#coulsonlives) I bet I knowww the answerssss...**

* * *

I don't like going places without my suit.  
I don't like killing people without it, either.

-Tony

If you know, then why would you ask?  
*tired sigh.*

-Nat

Natasha, it's fine if you like Coulson better, it's fine.  
*makes a bored face.*

-Agent Hill

And if you like Agent Hill than me, it's okay with me too.

-Coulson.

I'm not going to say. She knows.

-Nat

* * *

**StrawberryMnM: **  
**To Steve: How much technology have you learned to use? **  
**To Bruce: Since you started living with the Avengers, how many times has the "Other Guy" made an appearance?**

* * *

Uh... I exploded the micro-turn-ey heating thing, and the toasting thing blasted bread at my face so, yeah, not a lot of technology, but I'm working on it.  
And the walls talk to me.  
Pepper says I needn't worry, which is nice of her but the walls talk to me.  
They say their names are JARVIS.  
*shudders with a disturbed face.*

-Steve

Oh. That "other guy". Well, more times than I would like him to appear. Sometimes it's an accident and sometimes it'siisv jipwsfjovipazdkis bnrgvsopdICNIPSEPOSDKPOAJFA[QJPBQN  
VWOPEHNVPOJIFA  
SPOJP  
Hey, it's Tony. Bruce hulked out because Clint dropped a cat on him.  
Sorry.

xx  
-Tony and Bruce

* * *

**Raychaell Dionzeros: Ah... Tony ;Ever thought of Loki or Steve in a romantic way? (Cos my fave OTPs are Stony and FrostIron!)**  
**Natasha; Are you or are you not... IN love with Clint darling.**  
**With a million cackles,**  
**Raychie Dzeros**

* * *

Okay, first of all, stop cackling.  
Secondly, Loki... In a romantic way? Pretty much not until now, because you just mentioned it.  
*makes a strange face.*  
I guess one day, when Pepper's... Busy.  
(Ow, Pepper, stop slapping me! It was a joke! Kind of.)  
Moving on, Steve. Steve in a romantic way... Like Bromance maybe? I hate to disappoint, but-  
(SERIOUSLY PEPPER, THAT SMARTS!)  
I'm dating Pepper right now, but if I have to admit something, I'll say Iron Man and Captain America are balanced in a way like no other.

xx  
-Tony

I-I-I...

-Steve

Stop. Never ask that again, because the last straw is going to be when he gets me a pillow with his face on it.  
I feel I have been stripped of my rights, to have to tell you all this.  
Okay, so I can clearly answer that Clint and I are together, and it's like when you have a crush on someone, only they know now and they share the same feelings and...  
Fine. I am in love with birdbrain.  
*annoyed sigh.*

-Nat

WOOHOO, SHE ADMITTED IT! :D  
(Nat, please stop hitting me!)  
I LOVE YOU! :D :D

-Clint

I love you too.  
Idiot.  
*smiles.*

-Nat.

* * *

**Avengerscrazygal: To Thor: Have you ever heard of a barber shop, because you and your brother kind of need to see one. Also, have you seen Nyan Cat or read Percy Jackson? What are your thoughts on Pikachu?**  
**To Stev:e: Are you really a ninety year old virgin? Have you ever tried fondue? Do you like fondue? Do you like froyo or ice cream? What do you think of your new theme song ("When Captain America throws his mighty shield! All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield! Unless it's a plane Or a bomb! Or some ice! Then he'll choose to take a nap cuz the ice feels nice! When Captain America throws his mighty shield!")? Why do you look like that Human Torch guy from the Fantastic Four? What's the baddest thing you've ever done?**  
**Loki: Are you the gay version of Bane? Why do you have girl hair? Why do you always make really long boring speeches? How are you both the god of fire and a Frost Giant? Why do you wear a cockroach helmet? Do you like Snape? Why do you act so female? Are hyou secretly a girl? How did you give birth to an eighr-legged horse?**  
**Bruce: How did you conviniently learn to control your rage without ny explnation at ll? Why cant you turn into a big fushia rage monster instead? Why do your pants conviniently stay on when you turn into the Hulk? Do you have a medical degree? Why soesnt the Hulk speak in complete sentenxes?**  
**Tony: Do you know Bruce Wayne? Why do you call yourself female (iron Fe, man male), Why did you offer a crazy villian a drink? Why do you call yourself a playboy if Pepper is your girlfriend?**  
**Clint: Why do you look like Will Brandt from "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol? Are you an anylast? Can I call you Will Brandt? Aaron Cros? Hansel? Legolas? Katniss? Susan? Merida? Green Arrow? Cupid? Thalia? Frank?**  
**Natasha: Were you ever in a relationship with SSpiderman? Are you a ninja? Is your hair naturally red, or did you dye it?**

* * *

A BARBER SHOP? I HAVE HEARD OF SUCH SHOPS IN WHICH THE 'BARBER' TAKES THE MIDGARDIAN OBJECT, THAT HAS BEEN BANNED FROM MY REACH, SCISSORS AND TAKES OFF PORTIONS OF THE FIBRES ON YOUR HEAD.  
I HAVE NOT VISITED THIS 'BARBER' SHOP, NOR HAS MY BROTHER. WE HAVE NOT BEEN TOGETHER.  
ON ASGARD, MY HAIR LENGTH IS AVERAGE AND PROBABLY EVEN A LITTLE ON THE SHORT SIDE.  
I HAVE NOT BEEN INTRODUCED TO THIS PERCY JACKSON, SO I SHALL ASK FAIR LADY JANE OR THE ONE WHOS EYES RESEMBLE THOSE OF A HAWK TO SHOW ME THE ONE SUCH PERCY JACKSON.  
NYAN CAT? I SHALL ASK THE ANGRY ONE TO PRESENT THIS TO ME. HE IS SHAKING HIS HEAD SIDE TO SIDE IN INTEREST AS I SAY THIS. HE IS NOW LEAVING THE ROOM.  
AS FOR PIKACHU, IS IT SOME FORM OF FOOD? OR SOME MIDGARDIAN MEAD? I SHALL ASK THE MAN OF IRON.  
HOPING YOU ENJOY YOUR VISITS TO THE BARBER SHOP AND YOUR PIKACHU,  
-THOR

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO INTRODUCE HIM TO NYAN CAT? NOW IT'S BLASTING IN THE LAB 24 HOURS! JARVIS ISN'T RESPONDING AND THERE'S A NOTE THAT SAYS,  
"HAHA BRUCE! THIS IS FOR SHOWING THOR NYAN CAT!"  
ARGH0SFSJ;EV;SNHBPWR[B[WVJ

-*Natasha typing* Hulk

Um...  
*looks embarrased.*  
Hang on, Pepper just told me that fondue can be a food. So uh... I don't exactly uh...  
Is there something for passing questions?  
I'd probably never admit this out loud but I love froyo and ice cream, because in the 40's, it was hard to get sweets and such.  
But now it's so easy, so it's kind of a small guilty pleasure.  
My new theme song...? I wasn't aware I had a theme song. I guess it's okay... But you do know that I didn't choose to be frozen in the ice for 90 years, right?  
I... What's the Fantastic Four?  
The baddest thing I have ever done? Well, once we watched a scary movie-it was one of those 'because Steve and Thor don't get the references' nights-and Clint was kind of shaken up about it.  
Tony told me to scare him, and I think he put something in my water, because I did what he told me to.  
So I said I had to go to the bathroom, and crawled underneath the couch-there was a little bit of room left-and I grabbed his foot when the monster jumped out.  
I had a bruised face for a week.

-Steve

... So many questions, so little time.  
And I do not have girl hair, if anyone has girl hair, it's my idiotic brother.  
I am not a girl. My speeches are not boring. My helmet is not a cockaroach helmet.  
I am a god. I'm the god of mischief, you self-ignorant rude little...  
I. Will. _Crush_ you.

-Loki

(Stay calm Bruce, you can do this, just answer their stupid questions and you can go back to the lab.)  
I'm always conviently angry at something, I just focus on something else if I don't want... Him to show up.  
But when I do want him to show up (i.e. Manhattan) I focus on whatever I was angry at and the rest, as they say, is history.  
I hate fuschia. That answer it for you?  
My pants are made out of an indestructible-super stretchy material that Tony gave to me.  
Yes, I have a medical degree, I was in school for oajpcj\a;pklaopvj;;ov;vji[oqevj[jev  
*Hey, this is Tony again, Bruce just hulked-out in the middle of answering this and his fingers are too big to type, so I'll type down what he says.*  
HULK ANGRY!  
HULK. SMASH. PUNY HUMANS!  
*As for why he can't talk in complete sentences, I don't think anybody gives a shit, as long as the majority of what he's going to say is there. And he just broke my windows. Well that's just wonderful.*

-Tony and Bruce/Hulk

Bruce Wayne, like THE Bruce Wayne?  
Yeah, we're cool. I was at his charity ball once, and he made an appearance at mine.  
He may be taller, but I'm the smarter and more handsome one.  
I didn't pick to be called Iron Man, I just kind of... Agreed with it. Why did you pick to be called Avengerscrazygal? Is it... I...  
See, you love the Avengers-mostly me-and that's why you chose that name... This is completely out of context.  
Drinks bring... People together. And also even though I'm heartless, I'm not...  
And he can be a little bitch at times, so why not give him something to occupy his mouth from talking?  
Just because I'm dating Pepper it means I can't be a playboy?  
(Oh, Pepper, what are you doing here? Heh, I'm not-DON'T COME OVER HERE, I'M UH... WORKING ON SOMETHING. Uh, NO, I...)  
I'm a loyal boyfriend, but that doesn't stop girls-and some guys ;)-from still loving me.  
(Pepper, don't. Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?)  
So, I gotta go.

xx  
-Tony

I-NO!  
It's Clint. Just Clint. Unless your name is Tony Stark, a.k.a. Antonio, you may not call me any of those names. And I'm not saying I like it when you call me those names, Antonio.  
Thank you very much.

-Clint

No, I wasn't in a relationship with Spiderman.  
I am not a ninja, although I did train in China with some monks. A loooong time ago.  
My hair is naturally dark red, I don't like dying it, exception if it's for missions, but usually I wear wigs for missions.  
Although, Clint once put pink dye in what he thought was Tony's shampoo, and I used it.  
He had a black eye, with no explanation.

-Nat


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey!**

**Please Review, and beware of the mean people I mentioned last chapter. :)**

* * *

JoMiSm: In response to your question, I thought it'd be fun to show you that the Avengers already know what happened.

Post Avengers vignette:

"So, what actually happened in Budapest?" Tony asked, picking up the crumpled tissue beside him and wiping his fingers. He chewed thoughtfully for a second, and stared at the two assassins in front of him as they shared uneasy looks.

Natasha's stomach churned as she very slowly set down her shawarma, and watched the alter-ego of Iron Man lean back comfortably into his chair, swallowing his mouthful of food.

Clint sucked in a large amount of air and chose this time to conveniently start choking on his food, coughing and gasping for air, flailing his arms wildly as if the archer was drowning. Steve balled a fist and hit him hard, pounding him on the back, sending a lump of mashed up food to sail across the room.

"How'd you hear about that?" Natasha snaps, ignoring the wheezing coming from beside her.

Tony shrugged, and took another bite of the wrap in front of him, smiling like a fox. As he chewed, he said, "I'm Iron Man."

Well simply, he did hear about it over the communicators, but he realized that Natasha had thought hers was off at the time. Nonetheless, he was curious about what Clint had meant by saying 'You and I remember Budapest very differently' incredulously. And he figured when was a better time to ask then in front of the team?

Everyone, except Thor because he was already hunched over, leaned closer to the table to hear what they had to say.

Natasha shot Clint a knowing look, and the two smiled, remembering the flashback secretly, a little piece of knowledge that to this day, nobody knows.

You see, before the Avengers and before Clint and Natasha met, Clint was always content being alone, a lone wolf with no one to have to care for, or have no one to hold in his arms.

Natasha remembers Budapest as the night she was kidnapped in the middle of a mission and tortured for information. She remembers it as her last night doing something that the Red Room told her to. Natasha remembers it as the night she met and was aided in her escape by the most obnoxious person she believed she would ever talk to.

Clint however, remembers it as having to assassinate those people who had coincidentally captured Natasha and he also remembers it as meeting the most beautiful, independent, smart and strong woman in his life, and helping her escape was the worst mistake that anyone in his career could ever make. Personally, for him though, it was the best choice he had ever made.

And for once, Clint was not content with not having someone in his arms to hold.

The two partners share a small smile and turn back to the Avengers in front of him.

Natasha picks up her shawarma with one hand, and the other slides underneath the table to Clint's and she rests it on top of his. Not exactly holding hands, but close enough.

"That's a story for another day," She replies to a bored Tony, and takes a bite of her shawarma. As she does so, she gives Clint's hand a light squeeze, and smiling contentedly, he continues eating his shawarma.

The peaceful silence falls back over the Avengers, until Thor hits the table with his fist, declaring, "I enjoy this food. ANOTHER!"


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Wow, that was hard... Hope you guys enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Jade Key asks: Tony: Have you ever made a Hunger Games arena in Stark Tower and have the Avengers "fight to the death?" Ever thought of playing live Slenderman? Oh yeah you know that girl you slept with last year? She's pregnant.**  
**Clint: Do you live up in the air vents. I have one word: Rue. **  
**Natasha: Do you ever feel annoyed because you're the only woman on the team? What do you do when Clint gets himself in trouble?**  
**Bruce: What made you so intrested in gamma radiation? Did you get plastic surgery between Loki's attack and your fight against the evil British dude?**  
**Thor: Where do you keep your poptart stash?**  
**Steve: Do you want to be penpals? What are some of your tips on sketching? I'm an artist too and I really want to be a forensic scientist (a scientist who studies dead people). Oh yeah I have a prediction of the future: the Winter Soldier.**  
**Loki: Don't you dare threaten my twins sister (Avengerscrazygal)! My cousin likes you.**

* * *

The Avengers answer:  
Hmm... Not such a bad idea Jade, not such a bad idea. If it weren't for the fact that Fury-if not Pepper-would kill me if I did such a thing, I would have done this long ago. Trust me, I've thought about it.  
Another thing, Katniss is sure he would win, but then I informed him that this isn't some olden day place where everybody uses knives and arrows.  
Slenderman. Oh yeah, funny story; we were playing that one night, and then suddenly the lights flicker on and off, and then there's this loud static sound and BAM! Slenderman shows up and disappears.  
We called Coulson, Fury and Maria over-well, the other people were scared, not me-and then Slenderman keeps making multiple appearences.  
In the end, it turns out that Loki liked making my household objects into Slenderman.  
Damn that greasy haired scum who calls himself a god.  
The girl I slept with last year?  
... Which one...?  
xx  
-Tony

Do I live up in the air vents? Uh... No. Rude?  
Hang on... *eyes narrow* I DID NOT READ THAT LAST WORD I DID NOT READ THAT-  
*sobs hideously*  
NOOOO!  
-Clint

Well, there's benefits to being the only woman on the team.  
Like the fact that I'm kickass and every guy wants me.  
Okay, I'm kidding. Mostly.  
Technically, I don't consider myself the only woman on the team because I usually chat with Pepper or Maria about female things, which is like never, but I guess I do get annoyed when I'm having a hard time controlling my mood swings and the other guys have no idea what's going on.  
Tony and Clint are in that group, but they have I guess, a little experience understanding.  
But I guess it's unfair that most people are like; Black Widow never does anything, or She's just eye candy or whatever. I'm sorry, but I'm not jut a body.  
I'm a fighter. And I can break your neck while looking very hot at the same time.  
So chew on that.  
Clint gets in trouble pretty much all the time. Sometimes I have to clean up after him, sometimes I beat him up for it, and sometimes he sleeps by himself. For a week.  
I mean, at his funeral, I'm going to stand up there and say, "The dude had it coming. He was an asshole."  
-Nat

Gamma radiation has always been such a fascinating study for me. It still is, but I'm more... Careful, even though I know that nothing more odd will ever happen to me again.  
Uh... I don't know how to answer your second question, *gives uneasy smile* But I guess I'm not totally lying when I say I didn't really...  
-Bruce

MY POPTART STASH?! I DO NOT HAVE A POPTART STASH.  
*silence*  
THE PATRIOTIC ONE HAS JUST INFORMED ME THAT INDEED I HAVE A POPTART STASH AND IT IS UNDERNEATH MY SLEEPING QUARTERS.  
HE SEEMS TO HAVE BREACHED MY ROOM TO KNOW THIS.  
MAY YOUR POPTART STASH NEVER BE FOUND,  
-THOR

Penpals? That's a shocker. Not many people nowadays want to be penpals. They would rather send electronic mail. So I guess I'll take you up on your offer. Thank you.  
My tips on sketching. If you want to become a forensic scientist, then you'll need to draw the people's body, so I'm going to guess that's what you're implying. People's body's are 3 dimensional, as you know, so there wil be needs for shading, and start the body outlines with simple shapes. Ovals, circles, cylinders. Imagine the bone structure underneath the human and roughly sketch how big the skin covering the bones are, etc.  
Hair is usually seen as individual strands, not as a mass. See it as a mass, and draw it as a whole shape, details for later. Wrinkles are needed to show where the body is contoured or bent. Relax tension in the body when needed and make sure the shape of the person is not too stiff, and see that the proportions are in balance with one another. No one wants one arm longer than the other, and the most easy and common mistake to make this in is when one leg or arm is bent, people think the other arm should be as long as the other arm-in a bent position.  
This is wrong, visualize stretching the bent arm out, and match the straight arm to that length.  
Tony says I'm taking too long and should move on.  
Winter Soldier? Gosh, I guess we'll have to wait and see then...  
-Steve

I'm Loki, god of mischief, and rightful king of Asgard.  
So I may threaten whomever I please.  
Your cousin likes me? Good taste, but who wouldn't.  
-Loki

* * *

**Avengerscrazygal asked: To Bruce: Sorry I made you Hulk out twice. I am just overly curious, and how was I supposed to know Thor would become Nyan Cat obsessed? If you want him to stop playing it in the lab, give him headphones and an iPod. Or you could show him smoosh. Or nigahiga. Or the Duck Song(s). Or the Llama Song. Or the Narwhal Song. Or Toby Turner/Tobuscus. Or…well you get the point. So, I was thinking… Why did you say you destroyed Harlem when it was technically that guy who started going on a homicidal rampage (I've seen the footage!)? Do you speak Spanish (apparently the Hulk was spotted in Rio)? Can you smash Loki again (he kinda wants to kill me cuz I said he has long boring speaches, girl hair, and a helmet that resembles a cockroach…I'll never tell Thor about another annoying video again if you do!)? Have you ever gone to the Philiphines (I heard you travel a lot)? If yes, did you like it (please answer yes)?**  
**To Loki: Jeez! You're not supposed to hit girls! Or crush them! Same goes with people with glasses! I am a girl with glasses! And to think I was actually starting to like you, jerk! And you do so have really long boring speeches! I saw some footage of you speaking, and I spent ten whole minutes using a dictionary afterwards! Nobody uses the word "doul" anymore, and what the heck is a "mewling quim"? And "I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose," Seriously? That's like telling people "Hi, I'm Mr. Boring Psychopath!" You could've just said "The end of you." or "Your killer." or something cool like that, but no, you choose the line that screams villian wannabe! Maybe if you talked less, you might've actually succedded in conquering Earth! And for the hat, you're right…you look more like an earwig with it. And you should go with Thor to the barber so you can get rid of the girl hair problem and be brothers again. And you still never answered my questions about you being a fire god and a Frost Giant, liking Snape, and giving birth to an eight legged horse. PS: Are you secretly female?**  
**Thor: Please stop with the Nyan Cat, and please control your brother, otherwise I will probably be murdered brutally (Bruce doesn't like the Nyan Cat, and Loki told me, and I quote, "I will CRUSH you."). Actually, I don't blame you for the Nyan Cat: I like it to, but can you get headphones? PS: why do you write in all caps**  
**Tony: I am called Avengerscrazygal because I like the Avengers, I'm crazy about the Avengers, I'm a girl, and Avengerscrazygirl doesn't fit. And in my defense, I was wondering why you would call yourself a name that can mean "Female". Also, you're my cousin's favorite, not mine. My cousin is five, and thinks the Ninja Turtles are just as cool, if not better than you, so that really doesnt mean that much. However, one of my cousins and I like the Black Widow and Hawkeye the best, another cousin likes Thor, my sister likes Captain America and the "whales" (those fat Chitauri which the Hulk punched in the face), another cousin likes Hawkeye and the "whales", a friend at school likes the Black Widow, my sister's friend from school likes Captain America, and my other cousin, for reasons unknown, likes Loki (actually for his looks. he may be crazy, but hey, he doesn't look all that bad! I'm not saying that I think he's cute, I mean why would I have a crush on a guy who wants to literally crush me), and says that, if she had to support an Avenger, it would be the Black Widow. I support the wales to for my favorite villian. Also, we had superhero day at our school. A lot of people dressed up as Batman, Superman, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, The Black Widow, and Spiderman (I did the Black Widow. At first, I was going to make a Hawkeye tee shirt, but my mom wouldnt let me). No one dressed up as you. Also, i heard a lot of the kids in my class talking about how awesome Bruce is. So, for the stats:**  
**·Clint: 2 me unmentioned**  
**·Loki: 1 people he possessed unmentioned**  
**·Bruce: classmates school unmentioned**  
**·Steve: 2 school unmentioned**  
**·Natasha: 2 me unmentioned school**  
**·"Whales": 2 me unmentioned**  
**·Thor: 1 school unmentioned**  
**·You: toddlers unmentioned**  
**PS: Bruce Wayne is Batman. More people dressed up as him than you. He is so awesomer!**  
**PPS: Are all billionare/playboy/genius/philanthropist superheroes supposed to destroy their own mansions, have towers with their names on it, have a company with their last name, and try to sacrifice themselves by flying away with an explosive but end up somehow living and eating at a place that serves food, or is it just me?**  
**To Natasha: Okay, sorry 'bout the hair question, I've just always wanted to be a natural red head, and the Spiderman one was a joke; I think you're to cool to date some secondary superhero. Also, ask Tony to show you the stats I sent him about each Avengers', Loki's, and the Chitauri's popularity. I am happy to say that you placed first, and he placed last :) ! okay, so more questions… Have you ever taken ballet (dont take this the wrong way. I'm not making fun of you or anything. As a matter of fact, I take ballet. It takes a lot of strength and grace, and I heard Russians were good at ballet. This question is a COMPLIMENT)?**  
**To Steve: Erm…weren't you in the ice for 70 years? Just checking. Also, the Fantastic Four is a group of superheroes that came before you did. One of them, the Human Torch, has the ability to fly and control fire. Apparently, he can go Supernova. He looks exactly like you. And what did you think fondue meant? What's the scariest movie you've ever seen? What is your favorite froyo and ice cream flavor, and what is your favorite topping?**  
**Clint: Okay then! Why do you look like that analyst guy from Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol? **  
**PS: Happy HUNGER GAMES! May the odds be ever in your favor! Don't die like RUE!**

* * *

The Avengers answer:  
Well first of all, I think I don't want a repeat of annoying videos.  
I didn't want to say the other guy destroyed Harlem-altough he does destroy a alot of things-it was just Fury feeding the usual BS to the news, and blah blah blah. But I'm glad you know the truth.  
Actually, I can speak a little Spanish. Just a little dabble, but enough to get here and there.  
Oh, Loki. That guy again? It's always his fault. Fine, when the other guy shows up, I'll tell him he has a certain god to smash. Because that's all he wants to do. Smash things. It's kinda his life, you know, Hulk smash.  
Ah, the Phillipines, once I was there. But I can't remember much because it was mainly the other guy going on a rampage-SHIELD mission-but I'm pretty sure I did squeeze in some sightseeing time.  
I think.  
I liked the food, that much I can remember.  
-Bruce

That was not a question. I will not reply to any of that, since you have informed the Hulk to smash me, girl with glasses.  
I am not a female. Is this an ill insult conducted at my hair again? I find your hair style quite distasteful as well.  
-Loki

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE MAD ONE DOES NOT LIKE THE CAT OF NYAN WHO LEAVES A TRAIL OF COLOURS BEHIND IT. THE MELODY IS MAGICAL.  
MY BROTHER, HE ENJOYS THE JOKES, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS TO YOUR HEART.  
THE PHONES FOR THE HEAD? DO WE NOT ALREADY HAVE THOSE? THEY MAKE LOUD NOISES AND THE ONE NAMES PEPPER TALKS INTO THEM.  
RELATED ON WHY I TALK IN CAPS, WHAT ARE CAPS? ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE PATRIOTIC ONE? MAN OF IRON OFTEN CALLS HIM CAP.  
*Natasha whispers something into his ear*  
THE ONE WHO'S NAME IS AN ARACHNID HAS EXPLAINED TO ME. WHY NOT TALK IN CAPS?  
HOPING MY BROTHER WILL NOT CRUSH YOU AND THAT YOU MAY ENJOY YOUR CAT OF NYAN UNTIL THE END OF YOUR TINY LIFE,  
-THOR

Well I'm guessing no one was cool enough to dress up as me.  
Oh, and Loki wants to crush you? Where is that guy, because he deserves a high-five.  
Bruce Wayne is Batman. Everyone knows that, and if you disagree, just ask every girl he's ever dated or met. And guy. So basically everyone.  
Like I said before, I am too awesome to become a costume.  
I'm... Pretty sure it's just you, because there's only one me.  
And also I don't need a bat signal. I am Iron Man, and I have tank missles.  
No kisses this time,  
-Tony

He kind of incinerated them. And they were on his laptop.  
Some people have too much money.  
Don't worry about offending me, because you can't.  
I did take ballet, and I danced above the world, strength and confidence pumping through my veins.  
And then I realized how imprefect and evil the world was, but I kept dancing. The world is an evil place. Everything is rotten and-  
(Clint: Nat, is this because you cut that potato and it turned out to be rotten inside while the skin outside looked normal?)  
[Shut up, Clint.]  
Anyway, everything is rotten, and I just needed to tell you that the world isn't perfect. Don't be decieved.  
(Clint: So this is because of the potato. I cleaned up after your mess you know, and we got new ones, so you can calm the heck down.)  
-Nat

I'm... Not exactly sure... I was in it for so long, and nobody memorizes things like these, you know...  
I'm being told that a lot. I have to watch that movie, but I really don't think I can stand Clint and Tony having their popcorn wars.  
Fondue... Uh maybe I shouldn't explain.  
The scariest movie I've ever seen? Something called Twilight.  
Chocolate. Definitly chocolate and caramel. Favourite toppings, I'm torn between those popping candy things, mini cookie dough pieces and Clint's favourite, those peanut butter cups.  
-Steve

'Cause I'm cool like that.  
I heard the personally made that guy look like me. On purpose.  
Thank you very much and please don't mention... *voice breaks and he sniffles* Rue...  
-Clint

* * *

**Raychaell Dionzeros asks: Tonyy Ever asked Pepper to participate in a threesome? *ducks from a slipper thrown at head* SHUT UP ALL RIGHT?! YOU ASKED ME TO ASK THEM SO I'M REPEATING THE QUESTION! *mutters under breath* Stupid OCs of mine... *ducks from baseball* ARE YOU CRAZY?!ARE YOU TRYING TO MURDER YOUR OWN CREATOR?!**  
**Anyways, moving on... Thor, have you gone topless for the ladies before?**  
**Brucie... Eh... Should I ask or should I not... *another voice yells out* JUST ASK ALREADY! *roars back* FINE! IF HULK COMES AFTER ME, I'LL DIRECT HIM TO YOU! *huffs* Have you met Darcy Lewis yet?**  
**Natasha, have you ever gone on a mission where you and Clint are supposed to be a married couple? *wolf whistles from audience* BE QUIET OR ELSE SHE'LL MURDER YOU!**  
**Clint, what's your most memorable memory yet?**  
**Steviiee, *wistful sighs from fangirls* On behalf of my insane friends *ducks from baseball bat* OI! TOO MUCH ALL OF YOU! *continues* Still having a hard time figuring out the tech and modern slang aren't you?**

* * *

The Avengers answer:  
Eh... I tried once.  
Pepper slept in a guest room for a week, so no, I will not be asking her soon if that's what you're implying.  
Maybe for my birthday.  
Hope you don't get hit from a baseball or whatever they're throwing at you.  
xx  
-Tony

SHIRTLESS? I DID NOT KNOW CLOTHING COULD BE OPTIONAL.  
MAY YOU ALREADY KNOW MORE THAN I DO,  
THOR

Thor, put your pants back on!  
-Tony

Darcy Lewis? Of course I've met her. She's quite... Interesting, and she enjoys pranking people.  
With Clint or Loki, mainly.  
-Bruce

Oh damn.  
You just gave Fury an amazing idea.  
THANK YOU.  
And by that I mean NO THANK YOU, because I can't hold up a sarcasm sign on the internet!  
*frowns*  
-Nat

My most memorable memory?  
Maybe I shouldn't tell you because Natasha would hit me.  
Okay, when I first met Natasha. Or when she first told me she loved me.  
Either one was beautiful.  
*OW NAT THAT SMARTS STAHP IT WAS A COMPLIMENT*  
-Clint

Um, you can't just learn all this in one day! Just yesterday I learned that 90:00 is too long to use the revolving glowing heating thing, even to defrost objects.  
-Steve

* * *

**karaliza79 asked: Questions for the Avengers:**  
**For all Avengers:**  
**Have you ever played Minecraft? Do any of you own beanie babies? Have you ever tried playing Just Dance before? What is the most ridiculous thing you've ever worn? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop? And What the HECK is shwarma?! It sounds like some kind of therapy (which some of you definitely need...)!**  
**For Thor: **  
**Hey Thor! Have you ever given all of your fellow Avengers and Fury a group hug? It's a lot of fun and I'm sure they'd all love it!**  
**For Tony:**  
**Why do you like being an arrogant, pain in the neck all the time? Why do you come up with all those crazy nicknames for the other Avengers? Why is the sky blue and not orange? Would you ever consider getting a mega afro? **  
**For Bruce:**  
**Who's the most annoying on the Avengers team, in your opinion? What is the most annoying thing Steve has ever done? **  
**For Clint:**  
**What nickname (besides Hawkeye) do you like most? Who is the most normal person on the Avengers team (and don't say you, because that'd be a lie)? Is your most cherished memory the first time you saw Tasha? Or when you first kissed her?**  
**For Natasha:**  
**HEEEEYYY! Finally there's a girl! Soooo, have you ever played any pranks on the other Avengers, or Fury? If so, what did you do? Do dresses make you feel strange, or are you OK with them? Who around you irks you the most? Would you dress up as Fury for Halloween for the fun of it, or would you need incentive?**  
**Yours in love, devils, and the fiery pits of hell, **  
**karaliza76**

* * *

The Avengers answered:  
Tony: Minecraft's graphics stink.  
Bruce: I don't really play video games.  
Steve: Would someone care to explain what Minecraft is?  
Clint: I'm kind of pranking people...  
Thor: THE CRAFTING OF MINES? I ENJOY THIS BOXED GAME.  
Natasha: *sigh* I've only been on once to help Thor. I didn't really like it, I'm sorry.  
Tony: Beanie Babies? Uh... I don't have any.  
Bruce: *without looking up from lab desk* I don't have some but I think Tony does.  
Steve: What? Tony owns beanie babies?  
Clint: *chanting* Tony owns beanie babies, Tony owns beanie babies!  
Thor: ARE THESE BABIES MADE OF THE MIDGARDIAN BEANS? HOW TERRIBLE.  
Natasha: I never had time for toys, really.  
Tony: Please don't remind me of Just Dance, 1, 2, 3 or 4.  
Bruce: We use those as punishments or dares, we push the punishee out onto the street and make them do it in public with the music muted so they're just dancing randomly.  
Steve: Am I the only one who has no idea what's going on?  
Clint: And also, Thor kind of broke the floor. And the walls. And the ceiling.  
Thor: I DID ENJOY THIS DANCING OF JUST, YET THE MAN OF IRON PUT IT AWAY FOR NO REASON.  
Natasha: I wish someone would tell him that Tony destroyed it.  
Tony: Most ridiculous thing I ever wore? Probably had to be these lepoard print underwear that... Never mind. A hat made out of fruit.  
Bruce: A costume. Of the other guy.  
Steve: Once Fury gave me a disguise and it was ridiculous. A fake gold chain necklace, a puffy furry jacket, I mean, who wears that?  
Clint: I've had a lot of ridiculous things in my lifetime. Probably the bunny suit. Don't ask.  
Thor: I HAVE NOT WORN ANYTHING I HAVE CONSIDERED TO BE RIDICULOUS. IF IT WAS RIDICULOUS, WHY WOULD I HAVE PUT IT ON?  
Natasha: A t-shirt for Clint's birthday that said I'm Clint's girlfriend, back off. It was for his birthday, I repeat, his birthday.  
Tony: I DON'T KNOW? WHO COUNTS THOSE THINGS?  
Bruce: ... The other guy can swallow more than three dozen at a time.  
Steve: 368. It depends on how long and how fast your licks are. I licked it pretty slowly.  
Clint: *facepalm* Captain Wonder...  
Thor: I HAVE NOT TRIED THESE TOOTSIE LOLLIPOPS. PERHAPS I SHOULD TRY.  
Natasha: You see what you started?  
Tony: Shawarma is the best food in the world. 'Nuff said.  
Bruce: Try shawarma, they said, it'll be fun, they said. Someone poured hot sauce all over mine.  
Steve: Shawarma is quite good. You should try it.  
Clint: It's a food. It's yummy.  
Thor: I ENJOYED THAT FOOD. I WOULD LIKE ANOTHER!  
Natasha: What they said. And your last comment was rude, altough I agree, Tony definitly needs some.  
Tony: I heard that Natty!  
Thor: WHY, I HAVE NOT GIVEN ALL OF THEM THIS GROUP HUG. THANK YOU, I SHALL TRY!  
*one bone-crushing hug later*  
I'm going to be in the hospital. For a long time.  
Thanks a lot, you random person I don't know.  
And I'm a pain in the neck because every group needs one of those, so why not me?  
Captain Sparkles, Legolas, Demi LaBlondo, Spidey, and Mad Cactus.  
That not enough for you?  
The sky is blue because the light reflects against the air particles making it a blue colour. How old are you, because I learned this when I was pretty much 6.  
Why would I want an afro? My hair's prefectly fine the way it is.

xx  
-Tony

Most annoying on the team, probably Tony because hevwije;avoksscpsj;ovkdp;cjaksc  
ajcdkapshbojHE IS GORGEOUS AND ajipavjma;vnj  
GIVE IT BACK TONYSJVC;SKDJVPIOW;AKPJ  
slvjvspfackyouosfc;skv;sj I SECRETLY WANT TO BONE HIMSJOVSPJSPOJC  
csjfvlo;jv;jvspTONY STOP.  
Thank you very much. Now where was I, ah yes, most annoying thing Steve has ever done.  
Asked me multiple times how to work the goddamn microwave. I mean seriously, it's not that hard!  
-Bruce  
Legolas. I'll never say this out loud, but I'm a fan of Lord of the Rings, so...  
DON'T TELL ANYONE.  
Most normal person, well when you think about it, we have a guy who hides in a suit, a guy with incredible anger issues, a demi-god, a guy who was frozen in the ice for over 70 years and two assassins, including me.  
So probably Natasha, just because she's a girl.  
My most cherished memory. Both, and when she first told me she loved me.  
Now that was beautiful.

-Clint

Yeah, I know! About time there's a girl that other girls can look up to.  
I did play a prank once, it was a collaboration thing.  
Clint and Pepper are actually petrified of the dark, so we had JARVIS put on a timer for the lights, so we would be talking to them, and the lights turned off and we screamed as Dummy led us through the dark to hide.  
Needless to say, they were horrified and I think Clint might have peed his pants.  
Tony and I laughed long and hard for weeks.  
I have had to wear dresses so many times, so I've gotten used to them.  
Clint, but I still love the guy. Sometimes.  
*It was a compliment.*  
Would I dress as Fury for Halloween? Let's just say only if the costume came in my size.

-Nat


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry, I totally FORGOT about this. **

**Apologies.**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Marvel.**

* * *

**Avengerscrazygal asked: To Tony: I will take back my last letter if you do ALL of the following:**

**· Act stupid for a day**  
**· Punch Loki in the face (tell him it's a gift from Avengerscrazygal to the girl-haired gay Bane cockroach-helmet snowman orc) (remember to weear your suit when you do it)**  
**· explain to Thor what headphones are (I'm to lazy)**  
**· give me a years supply of schwarma (luv that stuff! had it like, 9 times, but they started putting cartilage in my schwarma at the place closest to me, so now I can't have the awesome Lebanese**  
**garlicy yogurt sauce covered chicken goodness that is schwarma as much as I used to :( )**  
**· Complete the Stupidity Test:**  
**DIRECTIONS: Read through the questions carefully and then complete this quiz (If you fail, then that means an 11 year old is smarter than you)**  
**1) Mark Antony and Cleopatra were defeated by whom in a civil war?**  
**a) Octavian Caesar b) Julius Caesar c) Ramses **  
**d) yo momma**  
**2) The biosphere includes:**  
**a) only the biotic factors of an environment **  
**b) all of the ecosystems **  
**c) living spheres**  
**d) only the abiotic factors of an environment**  
**3) The three layers of the Earth are:**  
**a) the cake, the filling, and the icing**  
**b) the atmosphere, hydrosphere, and lithosphere**  
**c) the troposphere, stratosphere, and mesosphere**  
**d) the crust, mantle, and core**  
**4) Who won the Peloponnesian War?**  
**a) Carthage b) Athens c) Macedonia d) Sparta**  
**5) What does this phrase mean in English? (Spanish) (dont ask Bruce for help: Im going to check to see if you did! "¿Cierto o falso? Loki es una mujer. La contesta es cierto."**  
**a) True or false? Loki is a lady. The answer is true.**  
**b) Custard or froyo? Loki is one mule. The contest is custard.**  
**c) Truth or dare? Loki admits he's a lady. He had chosen truth.**  
**d) Loki is not as awesome as the whales.**  
**6) what does this mean (Pig Latin) "appyhay owcay illway akemay ouyay oselay hetay illway otay ivelay, andyay ou'llyay ivegay ouryay eternalyay oulsay otay ityay."**  
**a) Keep calm and run around panicking.**  
**b) happy cow will make you lose the will to live, and you'll give your eternal soul to it.**  
**c) Silence is golden, and ductape is silver.**  
**d) I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake, but I never found out how the orange slayed the rake.**  
**Ongradulationscay! Ouyay avehay ownay inishedfay eadingray hetay uestionsqay! Oday otnay ompletecay hemtay, oryay ouyay illway avehay ailedfay hetay esttay! Oodgay ightnay andyay igbay allsbay (hattay inelay isyay ownedyay ybay Ipeoutway ybay hetay ayway)!**  
**To Loki: If you want me to believe you're masculine, grow a beard or cut your hair to prove it!**  
**To Bruce: :) I'm giving Tony a trivia quiz. Please do not help him translate the phrase "¿Cierto o falso? Loki es una mujer. La contesta es cierto." I'm sure you know what it means. Also, have you smashed Loki yet? He's threatening to murder my sister and I… I only told him what I think of his hat! PS: Out of all of the countries you've been to, which is your favorite? Why do people keep trying to kill you or take advantage of your strength you get when you Hulk-Out, because I'm pretty sure there are laws against doing that. Also, I'm really happy that someone else appreciates how delicious schwarma and Filipino cuisine are!**  
**To Steve: Can I be pen pals too (technically I'm the one that made "Jade Keys" your pen pal anyway; Im the one who told her about this)? Also, what is your favorite candy?**  
**To Thor: Are there any times when you were younger in which Loki got drunk? If yes, what happened? **  
**To Natasha: He INCINERATED his computer?! All I did was deflate his ego a bit because he was acting reakly narcissistic. I mean, I just told him the truth: Loki and the Chitauri both have more fans than him and his fans are generally under the age of five years old. **  
**To Clint: Okay…what about Prim?**

* * *

The Avengers answered:

Why should I do what you asked me to? ... Fine. You want me to act stupid for a day? Punching the god of mischief isn't stupid enough for you?! If I explain to Thor what headphones are, I'm not sure that would qualify as 'stupid'.  
Also, how can I give you a year's supply of shawarma when I don't know where you live? And if you told me where you live, then I'll let Loki know where you live because I punched him in the face.  
Pfhh, stupidity test? Easy.  
1) Octavian Ceaser. Simple.  
2) It's b) obviously. Are you okay?  
3) This is getting boring... The crust, mantle and core.  
4) SPARTAAA!  
5) You never said I couldn't ask JARVIS... It's a).  
6) Pig Latin? Easy. Reaay Ouyay Umbday? It's b).  
xx  
-Tony

I will not succumb to your whims, pathetic mortal.  
Be gone and I perhaps I shall decide to spare your puny life.  
-Loki

Uh... He didn't need to ask me; he went right ahead and asked JARVIS.  
Loki is avoiding me. Very well. So I'm sorry.  
All the countries I've been to... Huh. That's hard, I liked all the countries, and I can't pick one right now... I don't know. *shrugs.*  
Yeah, it should be illegal. I agree. I'll ask Tony to pass some law on that, although he'll just change it into a law about how whenever he walks down the street, girls have to stay away from him or I don't know, some stupid thing like that.  
-Bruce

Of course.  
What are those things called? Those little ones that are... Oh! Candy Corn, right next to Caramilk chocolate.  
-Steve

THERE HAS NOT BEEN A TIME WHERE MY DEAR BROTHER HAS BEEN INTOXICATED, NOT AS I CAN REMEMBER.  
HOWEVER, HERE ON MIDGARD, ONCE HE DID GET INTOXICATED, AND BOTH OF US PARTICIPATED IN THE MAKING OF GINGERBREAD HOUSES. IT WAS ONE OF THE MORE CALM MOMENTS.  
HOPING YOU ENJOY THE CONSUMING OF THE GINGERBREAD PEOPLE,  
THOR

Yeah, good advice, don't ever try to deflate his ego again.  
And I don't even think that was fully his computer, I think Pepper was doing her work on it and he just was reading that letter and he got upset and burnt it. He laughed. Это маньяка. (That maniac)  
I can get why his fans are five, because he is basically five years old! The only difference is he can drink and he has a girlfriend.  
-Nat

Prim... The sister?  
Yeah, so?  
[Nat: I'm sorry, he doesn't read much. *whispers.* She dies in the third book.]  
WHAT? *starts sobbing.* WHY!  
-Clint

Oh great, now look what you've done.  
-Tony

* * *

**Raychaell Dionzeros asked: Ok, first, Tony, on behalf on the fangirls, I am to pass you this. *tentatively opens a parcel lid, only to slam it back down when a faint scream is heard* Actually, in order to preserve everyone's sanity, maybe not.**  
**Bruce, the fangirls want you to... *blushes deeply* Kiss Darcy. And then let the Hulk out so that they can crown him Prince of 'six packs'.**  
**Steve, have you ever wandered around NY, only to be mobbed by fangirls?**  
**Natasha; most evil pranks you ever did. SPILL!**  
**Clint; ever gone modeling before?**  
**Thor; do you, or do you not... Love Loki.**  
**The Avengers answered: **  
**Thank you very much. **  
**xx**  
**-Tony**  
**Bruce: ... Uh... D-Darcy?**  
**Darcy: Hang on, I'm watching my show.**  
**Bruce: *says nothing and walks over to the couch where she is sitting. Leans over very slowly and...* I can't do it. *Hulks-out instead.***  
**Hulk: HULK... AWKWARD...**  
**-Hulk and Darcy**  
**Uh... Once.**  
**I... I... I don't really want to talk about it.**  
**[Tony: Aw, Captain Purity Ring is just embarrassed because some girl flashed him. Virgin eyes! Hah!]**  
**-Tony and Steve**  
**Once I took Clint to a Hunger Games themed party. The amount of Rues overwhelmed him. **  
**Twice I covered Tony's suit in rhinestones with Clint.**  
**This is probably the stupidest thing I have ever done, but I stole Nick's eyepatch. Don't blame me, it was a dare, and I am the most stubborn person on the planet.**  
**Pepper was on a business trip and Tony forgot, and she recently got her hair cut, so I mailed him her hair and told him that she had been kidnapped. **  
**-Nat**  
**Have you read the new magazines? Look out for the ruggedly handsome blonde guy. Don't tell Fury. **  
**-Clint**  
**OF COURSE I LOVE MY DEAR BROTHER. IS THIS SURPRISING TO MIDGARDIANS? **  
**VERY CONFUSED,**  
**THOR**  
**AvengersGirl-LokisSpy asked: **  
**For Loki: Would you ever let a mortal join your Army of their own free will? What do you have against mortals anyway? By the way, you're very sexy but the helmet ruins it because you look like a giant bug. ;) xxx**  
**For Tony: What's the stupidest thing you've ever done? (And don't deny the fact that you haven't done anything stupid, because we all know you have) xxx**  
**For Natasha: Who do you like most on the team? (Don't say Clint. That doesn't count.) xxx**  
**For Bruce: How come the Other Guy is dangerous to some people but then gentle towards others? (e.g. Betty) xxx**  
**For Thor: What is your favourite Midgardian song? Are you a fan of One Direction? xxx**  
**For Steve: You. Are. Pure. Sexiness. Anywho, was it annoying after just coming out of the ice to be pulled into another war against a crazy god? xxx**  
**For Clint: Have you ever watched Doctor Who? For some reason, you remind me of Rory Williams (no idea why... I'm mad!) :P xxx**  
**Cockroaches and spiders, AvengersGirl-LokisSpy ;) xxx**

* * *

The Avengers answered:

Probably not. Tony has already informed me that I have a mortal army made up of lovestruck fangirls who have no amazing powers. So no.  
Mortals have always favoured my brother over I, like my father. Mortals have no power, and they were made to be ruled over!  
However, I think I like you mortal, I think I like you, despite you thinking I look like a bug. The helmet is a symbol of power.  
I might allow you to join my army if you develop amazing powers or abilities. Maybe.  
-Loki

There are many stupid things I have done, like choosing to make weapons and killing or hurting hundreds of innocent people.  
But the most stupid thing I have ever done, is probably cheat on Pepper.  
I cheated, and she should have chosen not to forgive me, but she did.  
That's why I love her so much.  
xx  
-Tony

Ugh, who I like on the team? And I can't say Clint? Oh, whoop de fricking doo.  
I'd probably have to say... Never mind, I don't like anybody on the team.  
-Nat

The Other Guy probably remembers things that happened when I was me, like Betty. It triggers something, and he remembers.  
I don't know.  
-Bruce

I ENJOY THE STYLE OF GANGNAM. IT IS MOST WONDERFUL. I ALSO ENJOY THE CAT OF NYAN.  
THE ONE DIRECTION? I SHALL ALSO MAN OF IRON OR THE ONE NAMED PEPPER TO SHOW THIS TO ME.  
HOPING YOU ENJOY YOUR MIDGARDIAN LIFE AND MUSIC,  
THOR

Um... Thanks?  
I guess, but that's why I'm Captain America in the first place. To fight war, beat the bad guys. Very rarely do people thank Steve Rogers. Mainly they thank Captain America.  
-Steve

Yes. I have watched Doctor Who. All the seasons.  
Sometimes I remind myself of him, although I'm much sexier, don't you think?  
Nat says no. Ouch.  
-Clint

* * *

**Guest asks: **  
**Tony: Did you build a safe house for December 21, 2012? Oh yeah I'm AvengersCrazyGal's twin sister. However, I'm her polar oppisite.**  
**Thor: Why did you wear a wedding dress?**  
**Clint: Ever watched Brave?**  
**Natasha: Know anyways to get back at someone? There's a really snotty girl who is mean to people who are nice to her so this is righteous.**  
**Bruce: Have you tried forensic science? Is it fun?**  
**Steve: Thanks for the tips. Art class was crazy today. We did a horoscope on this guy and he is going to be a proffesinal bull rider, have a salary of 1billion bucks, live in an apartment in Australia among the kangaroos, have a pet woodchuck, and have 84 kids. **  
**How do you deal with bullies? This mean girl I know is insulting all my neighbors and people who haven't done anything to her.**

* * *

The Avengers answer:

A safe house?

...  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... hahaha...  
yes? don't tell pepper? she'll think I'm crazy and I'll lose my bet?  
xx  
-Tony

I DO NOT REMEMBER DRESSING IN THE DRESS FOR THE MIDGARDIAN CEREMONY OF ETERNAL BONDING AND LOVE.  
HOPING YOU ARE NOT AS UTTERLY CONFUSED AS I,  
THOR

Of course I've watched Brave.  
How else would I understand why Tony keeps calling me Merida?  
And for the record, Merida is not the child of Nat and I.  
I would not name our child Merida.  
-Clint

Oh... You really don't want to hear how I deal with snotty people.  
Because it depends what materials you have on you at the time, and most of my ways involve hurting people. A lot.  
My best advice is to tell an adult to deal with them, just ignore them, or tell her that clearly, if she tells them rude and mean insults, she is no better, in fact she is a низкой и грязной пены. Yes, tell it to her in Russian and if she asks, don't tell her.  
-Nat

Yes it's fun. Truthfully, all science is fun.  
-Bruce

Um... It sounds fun.  
Natasha told me about this problem you have. Please do not hurt the person unless they turn out to be Loki in disguise. Then feel free to use crayons to hurt him, or whatever materials you have on your hands at the time.  
Bullies tend to bully people only because they're bored or unhappy with their life. So I suggest you tell an adult, or tell her to stop it and no one will want to be friends with her if she's cruel like this.  
Hope it helps.  
-Steve

* * *

**Guest says: Loki: I'm getting my minion: the Slenderman**

* * *

What?  
-Loki

* * *

**Number1Bookworm asks: **  
**To Agent Natasha Romanoff: YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU ARE MY FAVORITE AVENGER EVER! Okay... That wasn't a question, but this is: have you ever seen some of the OTP pairings from fanfic? They are seriously weird... sorry to anyone who ships the other couples... I really only ship couples that are in the movies... Oh yah! I have a fanfic where you are accused of murder. And no one but Pepper believes you are innocent! Will you be my friend?!**  
**To Agent Clint Barton: Some people believe that Katniss's archery is MUCH better than yours, what do you say to that?**  
**To the person who asked Steve about art: An anatomy class would help...**  
**To Agent Phil Coulson: ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT ALIVE?**

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The Avengers answer:

Aww, thanks.  
And I have happened to see the other OTP pairings. And yes, they are weird.  
Such as BlackPepper. This is something Clint's doing, and Tony and I have agreed that he can beat the дерьмо out of him if this continues.  
I will try to find time to look at this, because that would definitely be possible. But I would hope that Clint believes I'm innocent too.  
Sure, I'll be your friend. I guess.  
-Nat

Aw hell to da no!  
-Clint

#coulsonlives

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**Leave more if you want.**


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